Asexual Women and Men
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🍃 Branches (key topics): Asexuality, Gender, Aphobia
🍂 Roots (Status): #seedling
🌰 Source: Ruspini, E. (2013). Asexual women and men: living without sex. In Diversity in family life: Gender, relationships and social change (1st ed., pp. 31–44). Bristol University Press. http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt9qgx3b.5
Notes
"asexuality has been portrayed in a negative light, as a minus involving 'a lack of sexual attraction,' 'deficient sexual desire,' or 'deviation' from the 'normal'" (Ruspini, 2013: 31)
- As she notes later, the Aphobia experienced by ace people is different than that experienced by other members of the queer community.
- However, in some ways the pathologization of asexuality is parallel to historical pathologization of same-sex attraction.
- I do think I haven't seen a paper that addresses the financial aspects — tax breaks etc awarded to married/partnered couples or couples with children — do we consider this to be aphobic?
"researchers have often used the term to refer to individuals with low or absent sexual desire or attractions, low or absent sexual behaviors, exclusively romantic non-sexual partnerships, or a combination of both absent sexual desires and behaviors. Asexuality has also been defined as an enduring lack of sexual attraction of the denial of one's 'natural' sexuality, a disorder caused by shame of sexuality or anxiety" (Ruspini, 2013: 31)
- Shame, disorder, abnormal, a problem, requiring fixing or changing
"increasingly, scholars have begun to consider asexuality as a fourth category of 'sexual orientation', the 'direction' of one's sexual interest, distinct from heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality" (Ruspini, 2013: 32)
"And while asexuality reflects an orientation to sexual practice, it does not preclude romantic attraction" (Ruspini, 2013: 32)
- the split attraction model shows up surprisingly infrequently among scholarly works on asexuality. Or, well, many authors will refer to the idea of still feeling romantic attraction but not sexual attraction, but they don't appear to be aware of this terminology — or, at least, authors from the early 2010s (and before) don't appear to be.
"asexual individuals do not find (and perhaps never have found) others sexually appealing; they may have sexual attraction to others, but indicate little or no desire for sexual activity. Finally, asexuality should be differentiated from abstinence or celibacy, which are generally motivated by factors such as personal values or religious orientation" (Ruspini, 2013: 32)
"sexuality is a socially constructed dimension of the life course, and it represents only one form of intimacy" (Ruspini, 2013: 33)
"they have the same emotional needs as anyone else and, as is the case in the sexually active community, they vary widely in how they achieve fulfillment. As is the case for sexually active individuals, asexuals vary in their experience of relationships, attraction and the circumstances of erotic experience and arousal" (Ruspini, 2013: 33)
"existing research makes clear that asexuals can and do have sexual intercourse; they just do not experience sexual desire" (Ruspini, 2013: 34)
"Some asexuals engage in sexual activity for a variety of reasons. For example, they might want to lead what they see as a 'normal' life: find a partner, marry, or have children" (Ruspini, 2013: 34)
- and is this not aphobia?
"Asexual people also differ in their feelings towards performing sex acts: some are indifferent, while some tolerate sex in an effort to please a non-sexual partner. Some asexual men and women participate in sexual activity out of curiosity. Others are more strongly averse to the idea even though they do not necessarily dislike other people for having sex as long as it does not involve them. Some may masturbate, while others do not feel a need to do so." (Ruspini, 2013: 34)
"Following a number of studies, approximately 1% of the population self-identifies as asexual" (Ruspini, 2013: 35)
"the first study providing empirical data on asexuals was published in 1983 by Paula Nurius. Nurius focused on the relationship between sexual orientation and mental health" (Ruspini, 2013: 35)
Anthony Bogaert found that "approximately 1% of the sample indicated that they were asexual. The results suggest that a number of pathways, both biological and psychosocial, contribute to the development of asexuality. On average, asexuals had fewer sexual partners than sexual people, started having sex later (if at all), and were currently having less sex. They were less likely to currently be in a cohabiting or married relationship" (Ruspini, 2013: 36)
"In general, being asexual has no relation to whether one has children or not. Thus, asexuals may have children, or they may be childfree by either choice or circumstance" (Ruspini, 2013: 37)
"Just like anyone else, asexual individuals can choose to have sex for the purpose of bearing children, use reproductive technologies or seek to adopt a child" (Ruspini, 2013: 37)
"In addition, in recent years, there has been increasing acceptance of parenting opportunities for persons living in non-traditional family settings, including non-marital unions, same-sex unions, single-parent families and other relationships that do not track the traditional nuclear family model" (Ruspini, 2013: 37)
"Today, parenthood is not always dependent upon sexual relationships and sexual intercourse. Here, the concept of 'social parenthood' becomes a crucial one. This role encompasses the love, care, and support of parents for children who are not necessarily their biological offspring" (Ruspini, 2013: 37)
"Until recently, asexuality was generally seen as a disorder (comparable to Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder; HSDD)" (Ruspini, 2013: 38)
"Although there is some prejudice against asexual individuals, it is probably different from the 'phobia' that lesbians and gay men experience. Because most people genuinely do not understand asexuality, it is likely that when asexual individuals report discrimination, it is probably a consequence of marginalization. Asexuals are not oppressed for being asexual; they are, rather, invisible. Nonetheless, they do also have representation among the oppressed. For example, asexuals who are also transgender experience discrimination as transgender individuals. Or, asexuals who would prefer to have partners of the same gender are likely to be read as gay and treated accordingly. Asexual individuals do, however, face similar problems as homosexuals and bisexuals in making decisions about coming out (publicly declaring their sexual orientation)." (Ruspini, 2013: 38)
"In order to combat this 'invisibility', AVEN was created. AVEN was founded in 2001 by David Jay with two primary goals: to create public acceptance and discussion of asexuality; and to facilitate the growth of an asexual community" (Ruspini, 2013: 38)
"Asexual communities such as AVEN can be beneficial to those aiming to resolve a crisis of identity" (Ruspini, 2013: 38)
"After individuals realize that their sexual incliniations differ from those of most of their peers, they may experience a period of severe emotional distress, questioning why they feel this way and whether the way they feel is acceptable. In some cases, they may seek medical help because they feel that they have a disease. In this context, the existence of asexuality support groups provides support and information that allows newly identified asexuals to find a community that defines their orientation as acceptable. Currently, asexual organizations and other Internet resources play a key role in informing people about asexuality" (Ruspini, 2013: 38)